Day 76: Happy
Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash
The one thing I most want to “disrupt” this year is my mindset. Because the lessons from the Blue Zones, the Harvard Longevity Study, and positive psychology research all say the same thing:
If you want to live long and strong, it’s not just about eating right and exercising.
And it’s hardly at all about getting regular checkups and flossing your teeth and getting colorectal cancer screenings after age 55.
It’s Happiness
Time and time again, researchers go out looking for the secrets and they come back with the same answer:
It’s about happiness.
This kind of happiness has nothing to do with being rich, famous, or accomplished. It’s a sense of connection to others. A sense of purpose in our family, our community. A sense of being part of something bigger than ourselves.
It Works!
As I’ve described before, positive psychology how-to manuals like The Happiness Advantage don’t just tell you what happiness is; they tell you how to get it.
This summer, I’ve started following their advice. And you know what? Despite all the negative change going on in my environment, it’s actually working! I’m changing, and so are my relationships with everyone around me.
This morning, I was at my desk early as usual, working on my book. I write early in the morning because students usually aren’t around. But today, I heard a knock on my door. It was a student from my class last spring, just stopping by to say hello.
The “old” me probably would have thought about my to-do list and kept it short, or maybe wouldn’t have even answered the knock at all. Today it was exactly the opposite - I welcome the “interruption,” the pleasant conversation. When the student left and I went back to my draft, I worked more quickly and lightly, making more progress in less time.
A little while later I was walking to a meeting and a student called out to me across the corridor. Fifteen months ago, I had invited my Property Law students to my house after their final exam to celebrate, and then I got sick and had to cancel. This student had taken charge of reorganizing, and we settled on this Friday as the day. He wanted to confirm that a group of students will come by tomorrow evening for a (slightly belated) post-finals celebration (hey, at least we managed to do it before they graduate).
In the afternoon, a colleague asked how I was feeling about the “Academic Transformation” process. We chatted about it for a few minutes. I mentioned that I found it most helpful to focus on positive psychology principles, like connecting with others as much as possible. He said, “You know, it shows! I can see it in your face, how much it helps you.”
How It Works
To some people, these things may not seem like a big deal. And they’re not - or at least they shouldn’t be. We should all have these kinds of connections in our every day. But for the “old” me, always focused on work, none of these things would have happened. Not one.
And so far, I’ve only scratched the surface. The biggest change I’ve made is a simple one: Smile more. Other things flow from that, like more conversations, more invitations. I say yes to those when I can.
There are lots more principles of positive psychology. My new mission is to explore, experiment, and observe what each change brings. If change grows exponentially, as it already seems to, I can’t wait to see what this brings in a year.
Words of Wisdom
If I sound like Pharrell Williams, well, please indulge me. Cuz remember, as Father Chapin from My Daily Living with Father Chapin likes to say, “Bitterness is like taking a daily dose of rat poison and hoping the other person dies.” Choose happiness!